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The Sun Comes Up: Even on the bad days

Samuel Morris is in the middle of his 24th hospital admission since his near drowning accident on the 9 April 2006. (average length of stay 7-10 days)

This admission to the Childrens Hospital at Westmead is for surgery to insert a baclofen pump to help manage his severe spasticity and dystonia. His operation took place on the 28th April, and he has been doing very well since the operation, but today was not such a good day, with Samuel unsettled and experiencing a lot of pain.

The pain is as a result of the surgery and associated bruising, not the intrathecal baclofen pump or the delivery of the drug, as we can already see some changes in Samuel's tone following the surgery and the commencement of the delivery of the drug into his spine, and the test dose that was given prior to arranging this surgery showed some significant results.

Days like these are the ones that really challenge any parent, and when these challenges are presented frequently, like they have been in Samuel's case and for the many children who are experiencing disability as a result of near drownings (or for that matter any other cause), they can be tough to deal with.

So today has not been a good one for Dad either! Like most parents whose children are disabled as a result of an accident there are always a million "what if" questions, an underlying sense that you have in some way failed your child by not adequately protecting them, that you have not done enough along the way to make them as good as they can possibly be, and then always wondering .... what next.

It can be really tough to learn to "sit with" these feelings and just accept that they are normal feelings and that it is OK be feeling them, and that they just have to be accepted for what they are.

While feeling like this I was going through some photos and found this one (above) that I took a while ago now, and despite the fact that I have been having a bad day, it made me think about this morning alongside Samuel's bed. The blinds were up in his hospital room, the sun was streaming in through the windows providing a nice warm glow and I had this simple thought..... you know what The sun comes up even on those shitty days! and I still have lots to be grateful for..... and I feel better!

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